If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
