I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
