Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
