Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
