mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can't turn off my feet"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
