I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
