Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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