That's intense
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
