So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize