she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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