i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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