Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
