I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
