Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
