im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
