with your own penis?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
