matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
