It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
When are your genitals available?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
