TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
