So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize