My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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