Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
