I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
