Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
