I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
