do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
