I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize