mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
