He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
