Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
