youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
