just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
