Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You are the jesus of drinking
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
