No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
