..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
