She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
