margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
