Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
