Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
