good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
