Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
