pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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