You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
