just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
