No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
