Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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