Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
