girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
