My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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