i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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