office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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