pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
