You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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