There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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