I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
