I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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