I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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