Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
