we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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