Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
