i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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