Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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