In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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