Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Found your dick twin last night
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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