i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
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i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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