my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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