we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
