i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
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I miss the smell of you or some shit.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
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I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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