he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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