Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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